This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
