She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
