I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
