"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
