nut hugger
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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