I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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