i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
