It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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