I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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