Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize