doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
