do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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