He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
