We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
