do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
