I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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