apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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