What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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