I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
sarcasm needs its own font
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
