PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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