I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
