he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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