I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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