I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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