By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
