Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize