That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
