No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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