Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
