I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
