I cockslap morals
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The ass gains better be worth it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
