Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
