I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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