As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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