i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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