That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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