I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
