I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
worst night to have a conscience
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
