Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
