Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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