I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
