I must be too annoying 4 u.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize