Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
