It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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