You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my vag is so smooth its legendary
pop tarts are not kleenex
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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