yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
