dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
