the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
