So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
