Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I AM VODKA MAN
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
